daydreamer's footnotes

While navigating career options during my sabbatical period, I like to reflect on what brought me to where I am.

Spark 1: When my high school computer-savvy study partner showed me the Wacom tablet and what it was capable to do on the computer.

This was during the time of the phone dial-up internet and before I got my own computer, or private access to a computer for that matter. This spark came belatedly, almost 4 years later when I was totally lost about my future during my university study. At the time, I was working toward a bachelor degree leading to unemployment. During my 4th year university, I got really sick, probably from extreme stress, with a suspected diagnosis of pneumonia. The 3 weeks of illness during the time of midterm was enough to make me fall so far behind I wasn’t able to continue my study that semester. So I took the rest of the semester off to recovery and resumed my study in the summer. While I pondered about my future during my time off, my mind kept going back to the architectural drawing I saw while working part-time at the Faculty of Architecture. So I spent my entire earning from the part-time job to purchase a student version of the Maya software to play with during my recovery from the illness.

The undergrad study gained me zero usable practical skill for a job market that was saturated with manual labour on the surface, while intellectual jobs are well kept under covered behind a thick curtain, and you really have to somehow network your way to a VIP pass before you are told where the entrance was. I was very fortunate to make one very supportive friend during university and lucky enough to be given such a pass and secure myself a full-time survival job before I graduated from university.

Spark 2: When I took a course in inorganic chemistry and learned about electron states at quantum level, something ignite in me that kept my curiosity alive throughout university, just enough to graduate from it.

The topic of light in optics, light in its application in various form of science researches such as MRI, fiber optics, techniques in imaging development…etc, are all very fascinating to read about. I think it was about that time that I started to find interest in making computer graphic images.

Spark 3: While working on my own to navigate around my two years old 3D software toy after graduated from university, I picked up a mathematics book on Daylighting. It introduced me to various calculations in architectural science. It sparked my interest in deeper understanding of architectural lighting design, so I enrolled in a program just for fun, in hope that gaining that piece of knowledge will make me a better artist. The program, while didn’t teach about the math that I read about, opened up a new horizon for me as it was an industry I did not know it exist alone. I was very fortunate to get a contract job in this field at a building engineering firm while I was still studying the program.

It was a highly stressful job. Many overtimes hours for months under tight deadlines on multiple projects at once. I went home at 3AM every night for nearly the entire two months. After the first project, this overtime routine continued onto the next project, and the next one after that. Although I perform well on the job under pressure and at time felt a kind of satisfaction I never encountered before, it was the interpersonal aspect of the job that got me to rethink a long career in the field. I was really good at using a new software tool that the company wanted to make it a pipeline in their workflow, so the company created a company-wide training sessions to those involved in design to attend the training. I was initial invited to join the training, however, my immediate boss removed me from the training invitation saying I already know the software. What she failed to understand was that, while I do know how to use that piece of software really well (because I know other 3D software and the knowledge are transferrable), I have no idea about how the company wanted to implement such software in their pipeline. And in order to become a fully functioning employee to an organisation of that size, I do need to be present in the training. At the end, my boss said no. I was disappointed at my boss. She failed to see me as a team player and only see me as a useful person knowing the tools to get the immediate work done. When it came time for contract renewal, the HR sent me a renewal as it, without offering for renegotiation of my role, because what I was doing over the year was way beyond the original job description. I declined the offer without giving a reason and left the company as my contract expired.

This work experience was valuable in my career journey because I learnt something about myself and learnt a lot about the real-world. Yes, I have skills to offer to the world and I am a productive being. However, I need to be working with the right team and in the right environment to really bring out my potential in order to enjoy my career. Thankfully, I made a few industry-friends along the way and we still keep in touch to this day.

Spark 4: When I saw how lighting is applied in film and film post-production. I wanted to get my hands on doing that to fulfill my curiosity.

Luckily, before I quit my job at the engineering firm, I have secured a contract with a post-production studio that gave me the opportunity to practice exactly what I had in mind. At first I only wanted to try it for a couple of years and maybe going back to do architectural lighting once I fulfilled my curiosity. One project after the next, the projects continue to be interesting and challenging and there were a lot to learn in the computer graphics world. I stayed on in the same industry for the next 10 years development my skills and vision, and continue to be curious about the science behind computer graphics as an artist. When I fulfilled my initial curiosity of post-production film making, I thought about my early-career dream and then seriously thought about career longevity and sustainability.

As I continue to search for my next project in the field, I can’t help but wondered: Now what?

Until recently, there was a shift in AI development that might/would render many skills people spent their life-time developing obsolete. From what I gathered on how some companies are incorporating AI in their pipeline, I can appreciate some companies are using AI responsibly. Using only proprietary data to sort their work and streamline their workflow only within the company’s context. That kind of AI usage, I have no problem with and would encourage as it increases productivity at company’s level.

Then there are a couple of GenAI training sessions I listened in, which seriously made me angry and made me question about humanity. It was a very disappointed piece of technology. The presenters, without addressing any IP issues, showed the audience AI generating images using image data from the wilderness of the internet. The uncontrolled, irresponsible kind of AI that even some design company wanted to use in their workflow. This piece of technology made critical thinking irrelevant, drawing skills obsolete, plagiarism the norm of the new generation.

For a while I thought my career objective was to draw amazing pictures. To me, a drawing holds a lot of information in communicating idea. A single image conveys a design intend replacing an essay of words no one has the time to read in a fast pace working world. I still thought that was the goal until very recently, when I had a job interview for a job I thought I really wanted. After the interview, I realised something that haven’t crossed my mind before: My career objective has changed. That job I interviewed for may have been my obsession 10 years ago, but today, that job, while still got me excited when I read the job description, is not aligning to my core values. At the end, I didn’t get the job and it was the right decision on the company’s part for not choosing me. I haven’t quite figured out what the new career objective is yet, I am still navigating my options and gathering information, but something that would still require critical thinking skills and a career that wouldn’t make me feel more stupid after I retired from it are my top criteria.

Onwards to a productive week. Happy Monday!